


The Lover and the Beloved

by yoonminysus



Category: La casa de papel | Money Heist (TV)
Genre: Attempt at Humor, Berlin | Andrés de Fonollosa Lives, F/M, I'm Bad At Tagging, M/M, bank of Spain, but I don't, don't take this seriously, it sounds like i hate all the characters, it's a little bit chaotic, season 3 season 4 rewrite?, the heist husbands are explaining the plan together, they're my babies, this is a play - Freeform
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-05-07
Updated: 2020-05-07
Packaged: 2021-03-03 00:40:00
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 10,302
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24056065
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/yoonminysus/pseuds/yoonminysus
Summary: Andrés and Martin wrote a play about lovers and melting gold.
Relationships: Berlin | Andrés de Fonollosa/Palermo | Martín Berrote
Comments: 11
Kudos: 56





	1. Preface

**Author's Note:**

> Okay this is the first time I am posting something I wrote,,,,  
> I am: panicking.  
> So basically, this is a play, written by Martin and Andrés, explaining the plan to the rest of the team. That's it. That's the summary.  
> In other words, this is a text fic but make it fancy?  
> (Part 3 and Part 4 spoilers.)  
> My English is a little limited so there is that?  
> I would like to thank my soulmate for having the patience to beta-read me. She deserves an award for this.  
> You can find me on twitter @whats1against99  
> Let me know if you liked it?

**THE LOVER AND THE BELOVED**

**Andrés de Fonollosa & Martin Berrote**

**PREFACE**

Life is both a comedy and a tragedy at the same time.

This is the kind of cold and wise knowledge you acquire when you are still young and vivid when you learn the date of your death.

If you had the opportunity to know when yours will end, would you check your expiry date or close your eyes? We did not have this choice. One day, we were letting time slip between our fingers, planning to start living, to start living fully and for real, in a few months, or a few years, when things would finally be perfectly in order. The next, we learned that, if we wanted to live, we had to do it now. Because not everyone is lucky enough to have tomorrow.

We first reacted as everyone would: with anger. Anger against the unfairness of this world we used to find beautiful. Anger against all the ones who were not in our situation, anger against all the ones who still had time, so much time, but who made nothing out of it. Finally, and before the anger started to fade, we were angry at ourselves the most. We used to have time, like all those other people, and yet we wasted it all, like them. We were planning, and we had been planning for a while, we had been planning for too long, so, when we ran out of time, we did the worst and best thing any planner could do: we stopped planning, and started acting. One day, we wanted the plan to be perfect. The next we wanted the plan to be turned into reality and this, that exact moment, was the turning point of our story.

This play is an ode to love, but not to any love. It’s an ode to ours.

This play is a requiem to life. (Because life always has an end, and our time has come.) 

This play is an elegy to our brotherhood, who died before we did, when we stopped being family to become lovers. We wouldn’t have it any other way.

In  _ The Lover and the Beloved _ , we noticed the tragedy in romance, and underlined the romance in tragedy. (We couldn’t be prouder to succeed where Victor Hugo, the miserable, tried several times with little -or no- success.)

Never was a word used in all of its meanings all at once, until we qualified _The Lover and the Beloved_ by the term describing it perfectly: a pastiche. -If the word sometimes designates a satiric parody, a pastiche can also be a medley, a patchwork of various elements. Eventually, a pastiche is, in the collective unconscious, and to quote the definition given by the oxford dictionary, “an artistic work in a style that imitates that of another artist.”.- _The Lover and the Beloved_ is all three. You will perhaps read there, between the lines, a mock play of Money Heist, and any reference to Racine, Beaumarchais, Rostand or Shakespeare; Ionesco and Beckett if you squint; may not be pure coincidence. 

Those dramatists are just a few of those whom inspired us, and if your culture of art and literature is anything close to ours, you will find yourself smirking at our endless winks to the sharpest spirits that walked down this path before we did.

This play is a trip back in times, slaloming between eras and centuries, keeping only the best of them all.

This preface is an invitation for you, our dearest readers, to sit at any table of the classroom and grab some paper and a pen –they will be of great use-.

(Corneille and Shakespeare too, would have been taking notes, impressed by our dilemmas, twists and turns.)

There is something about this play, something extraordinary, unique, marvelous. We know about art. We hope that you do too. But we can promise you, no matter how many books you have read, no matter how many plays you have watched, none of those stories ever made you feel something remotely similar to what you will feel reading ours.

We don’t do ordinary. We never did. This is probably one of the unnumbered reasons why this story is presented as a piece of theater, instead of a banal and boring novel.

This play is who we were, who we are and who we will be, one day, hopefully. 

We tried to make a comedy out of our tragic story, and when a dying man tells a joke, the least you could do is pretend it was the funniest you ever heard. (Sergio Hermano, we are especially looking at you.)

Unlike our straight counterparts, we never imagined leaving behind us a simple progeny as the only reminder of our incredibly full and thrilling existence.

That being said, this play is probably the closest thing to a child we ever conceived together.

The script you are holding in your hands is a memento of two of the greatest human beings this earth birthed.

Our tragic destiny made us the Tristan and Iseult, the Romeo and Juliet of that boring century of ours. It’s entirely unbiased that we allow ourselves to state that if there is anything worth remembering of this millennium, it must be us.

May the epitaph of our grave read proudly “The Lover and the Beloved”

If this whole story has to be the last and only one we ever tell, then be it.

We have accepted our fate and are welcoming death with open arms, after taking delight in life.

This play is our swan song.

Andrés de Fonollosa & Martin Berrote

  
  
  
*  
  
  
  
  


~~ To Tatiana my beloved ex wife ~~

~~ Andrés ~~

~~ Are you fucking kidding me?  ~~

~~ Martin ~~

To ourselves 

(No one else deserves this play anyway.)

Andrés & Martin

*****

**CHARACTERS**

BERLIN (mastermind behind the plan, Palermo’s beloved)

PALERMO (mastermind behind the plan, Berlin’s lover)

SERGIO (el professor, Berlin’s brother)

LISBOA (a new member of the gang, Sergio’s wife, an ex inspector)

TOKYO (a member of the gang, Rio’s girlfriend)

RIO (a member of the gang, Tokyo’s boyfriend)

DENVER (a member of the gang, Stockholm’s husband)

NAIROBI (a member of the gang, la puta madre)

HELSINKI (a member of the gang, Nairobi’s best friend)

STOCKHOLM (a member of the gang, Denver’s wife)

MARSEILLE (a new member of the gang, Berlin and Palermo’s friend)

BOGOTA (a new member of the gang, Berlin and Palermo’s friend)

MANILA (a new member of the gang, Denver’s sister by heart)

CINCINNATI (Denver and Stockholm’s son, three years old boy)

TAMATO, played by Sergio

GANDIA, played by Berlin (the chef of the bank’s security, hostage)

ALICIA SIERRA, played by Tokyo 

ARTURO, played by Rio (yes, him again. Annoying hostage)

THE GOVERNOR, played by Palermo (director of the Bank of Spain, hostage)

TATIANA, played by Palermo (Berlin’s fifth ex-wife)

CHOIR I (Monks)

CHOIR II (All)

NARRATOR (voiced by Tokyo)


	2. ACT I

**ACT I**

**Some unknown place, in an abbey, a classroom. In front of the students, a small stage with a movable blackboard, behind which a curtain is hiding a small fitting room with several costumes on hangers. In the center, a table on which stands a wide and rectangular object, covered by a cloth. On the front left, a desk on which a little boy is patiently sitting.**

**The students - of various ages - are deep in conversations. None of them remain at their position, if not for the man sitting front row on the left. He is holding his head in his hands, already getting a headache. We can hear laughter. One of the woman playfully smack a man on the arm because of some joke he made. They all wear smiles on their faces, carefree, unaware of the mess they signed up for. The classroom is quite small, but none of the desks are touching each other, giving each student their personal space, and a distance to avoid chatter between lessons. Two lines of six desks back to back are separated by a small aisle. The last row is made of three desks, where the more disruptive of the sort are sentenced.**

**From afar, we suddenly hear the bells of the church ringing.**

**Ten seconds later, all of them are in their places (on the left, from front to back, Sergio, Marseille, Manila, Rio, Helsinki; Nairobi in the middle of the two lines, with, on her right, and from back to front, Bogota, Tokyo, Denver, Stockholm and Lisboa)**

**The bells stop ringing.**

**The lesson is about to start.**

**SCENE I**

BERLIN, PALERMO, TOKYO, SERGIO, DENVER, RIO, NAIROBI, HELSINKI, LISBOA, MANILA, MARSEILLE, BOGOTA, CINCINNATI

_ Everyone is quiet when Berlin enters the room, wearing a three piece suit, followed by Palermo, just as fancy as him. They both take off their jackets, hanging them on a coat rack in the corner of the stage. Palermo starts taking papers and plans out of his bag and put them down on the desk. At the same time, Berlin starts writing on the blackboard, careful not to make the chalk squeak. “The Lover and the Beloved, a play by Andrés de Fonollosa and Martin Berrote.” _

PALERMO

In the relationship of love, we have the lover and the beloved. We dedicate them this play.

BERLIN,  _ widening his arms in front of him to show the stage. _

This is Madrid.

DENVER

We are in Florence though…

BERLIN

Denver, you moron was that written on your script?

DENVER,  _ confused _ .

W-what script?

BERLIN,  _ ignoring him. _

Before anything else, I have a question for all of you. What are we?

TOKYO _ , raising her hand _ .

We are family!

DENVER

Can we really say we are when we left people behind?

ALL,  _ turn to him. _

DENVER

It would have been written on my script if I had one.

BERLIN

Let’s reiterate. What are we?

BOGOTA

Human beings?

BERLIN,  _ starting to get angry. _

Please I am asking you to concentrate. ( _ pointing at Helsinki _ ) What are you? ( _ at Nairobi _ ) What are you?  _ (at Tokyo _ ) And you?

NAIROBI

Cities?

PALERMO,  _ whispering to Berlin, worried _ .

When you told me they were slow, I was not expecting them to be this slow.

BERLIN,  _ murdering Nairobi with his eyes. _

I am going to give you one last chance… What are we?

STOCKHOLM,  _ raising her hand shyly, hesitating _ .

We are robbers?

BERLIN,  _ relieved _ .

Finally! We are robbers. And not any robbers. The most famous and wanted ones. Our heads are worth millions.

PALERMO

And what do robbers do in their free time?

BERLIN

Let’s stop asking them questions, it would take hours.

PALERMO

Heists.

RIO

We could have guessed that one.

PALERMO

But you wouldn’t be able to guess where we planned our next one, would you?

RIO

I don’t know, you tell us.

BERLIN _ , pregnant pause, to create tension, slowly taking the cloth off to finally let them see what it was hiding, dramatically. _

The Bank of Spain!

_ (reveals the paper model of said place) _

RIO

No way…

HELSINKI

Isn’t that madness?

NAIROBI

That’s Berlin we are talking about, we should have seen it coming.

DENVER,  _ fake enthusiasm _ .

Amazing, we are all going to die!

TOKYO,  _ scoffing, provocative _ .

And how are we supposed to do that?

BERLIN,  _ focused on the model _ .

Realistically speaking, there is absolutely no way of coming out of there alive.

PALERMO

Sergio, do you confirm?

SERGIO

Yes, I do. It’s a suicide mission, we-

BERLIN

Thank you very much hermanito, you can stop right here.  _ (a small break, for the suspense) _ We have a Plan.

PALERMO

Plan with a capital P.

BERLIN

Something you have never heard off.

PALERMO

You thought the Mint was the greatest heist of all time?

BERLIN

Well, you were wrong my friends.

PALERMO

Because this! This plan right here! Is 10, 100…

BERLIN

1000 times bigger and crazier than what we have already done.

PALERMO

No offense to you Sergio.

SERGIO

Actually, I am slightly offended.

PALERMO

Only because this masterpiece of a plan didn’t come out of your brain!

BERLIN

To be fair, we’d be pissed too if it didn’t come out of ours.

PALERMO

Ugh our mind, it’s so powerful, it amazes us sometimes!

RIO,  _ surprised _ .

Palermo knows Vine?

PALERMO

Who doesn’t? Do I look like Denver to you?

DENVER

What do I have to do with this one?

PALERMO

Nothing, Denver is just a new slang.

DENVER

For what?

PALERMO

For IDIOT!

BERLIN

Can we go back to the plan?

PALERMO

Of course, darling.

BERLIN

Tremendous Plan needs extraordinary explanations!

PALERMO

So instead of a boring ass lesson like Sergio’s we decided to write a play!

NAIROBI

A play? As in the thing we can see in theaters?

BERLIN

Do you have a problem with that?

NAIROBI

No, I am just surprised, isn’t that a little too …  _ distingué _ for someone like you?

BERLIN

Someone like me? What is that supposed to mean?

NAIROBI

Do you want an honest answer?

BERLIN

No, I don’t.  _ (smiling politely) _ You know me well enough to be aware that I don’t

care about your opinion-

NAIROBI

You don’t care about anyone’s.

BERLIN

False! I care about mine.

NAIROBI

Yeah, yeah, just stick to explaining the plan.

PALERMO,  _ giving the script to every student _ .

Since all protagonists can’t be there, we are going to ask some of you to play several characters so we need all of you to be extra attentive during the roles distribution.

BERLIN

Starting with Tokyo, a member of the gang, Rio’s girlfriend. She will be interpreted by Tokyo.

TOKYO,  _ hand on her heart _ .

It’s an honor for me.

PALERMO

Denver, a member of the gang, Stockholm’s husband, played by Denver.

DENVER,  _ nodding _ .

I will do him justice.

BERLIN

Nairobi in the role of Nairobi, a member of the gang, la puta madre.

NAIROBI

A queen in the skin of another queen.

BERLIN

Helsinki, you will represent Helsinki, Nairobi’s best friend.

HELSINKI

That’s so unexpected, really didn’t see that one coming.

PALERMO

Rio will play Rio, Tokyo’s boyfriend.

RIO

So, before anything else I would like to thank my parents and agent, I wouldn’t be accepting this role if it wasn’t for them who-

BERLIN,  _ cutting Rio’s speech short _ .

Lisboa, interpreted by Raquel Murillo.

LISBOA

Hey why are you using my other name I-

BERLIN

You’d rather be called Inspector? We can still change the script if it matters to you.

SERGIO

God will you ever let that go?

BERLIN

Lesson number one: never trust a cop.

PALERMO

Sergio obviously only listened to lesson number two: fuck the police.

SERGIO

Was that supposed to be funny?

DENVER, NAIROBI, TOKYO,  _ trying not to laugh _ .

To be fair, it kinda was.

BERLIN

Sergio will play El Professor.

SERGIO

I think I can do that.

PALERMO

Let us introduce to you our secret weapon.

BERLIN

Marseille!

PALERMO

There is not a single thing in this world he can’t do!

BOGOTA

Except talking you mean…

MARSEILLE

For the 100 th times, I am not mute.

BOGOTA

Did anyone hear sumn’?

BERLIN

Bogota introduce yourself while you are at it.

BOGOTA,  _ standing up _ .

Hello everyone. My name is Bogota. In case some of y’all didn’t

get it.

PALERMO

Tell them what you will be in charge of!

BERLIN

Yes Bogota, tell them. Let’s get them all hyped! Why are you here?

BOGOTA

Well that’s a question I have been asking myself too…

PALERMO

What do you mean you are wondering what you are doing there! We explained

you for hours literally yesterday.

BOGOTA

Well if I am being honest I have heard clearer explanations.

BERLIN

You can’t be serious right now.

PALERMO

You are playing with us, aren’t you?

BERLIN

You forgetting why you were here was plausible.

PALERMO

But our explanations not being clear? Definitely a joke.

BERLIN _ , going back to the role distribution _ .

The bank governor, played by Palermo;

Tatiana, played by Palermo…

DENVER

Why is Palermo interpreting so many characters?

PALERMO

So, because I am gay you think I can’t multitask?

DENVER

I… didn’t say that?

PALERMO

And now you are insinuating that I am imagining things? Your homophobia is showing my dear!

DENVER

I-

RIO,  _ to Denver only _ .

Just give up bro.

PALERMO,  _ still not letting go _ .

Maybe if you had the quarter of the half of my range you

would be playing several characters too!

SERGIO _ , to himself _ .

Wasn’t that a Beaumarchais’ quote?

BERLIN

The narrator will be voiced by Tokyo.

TOKYO

Wait for real? I am getting responsibilities?!

BERLIN

Don’t make me regret it before the beginning of the play.

TOKYO

I swear I won’t disappoint.

BERLIN

I will be the judge of that.

PALERMO

Berlin will play Gandia.

NAIROBI

Who is that?

PALERMO

Believe us, you don’t want to know.

BERLIN _ , coming right in front of Rio _ .

Gentlemen! And Ladies… I want all of you to give a big round of applause for the most annoying character ever appearing in a drama: our dearest Arturito! Interpreted by Rio.

RIO

Why is he played by ME?!

DENVER,  _ at the exact same time _ .

Why is he THERE?

BERLIN,  _ ignoring Denver _ .

Rio, Rio, Rio, my dear kiddo. If any of us will get the guts to kill that dude, we know for sure that person won’t be you.  _ (whispering)  _ Because you are a coward.

PALERMO,  _ to himself but with making sure Berlin can hear _ .

Bold words for someone who took 10 years to ask me to be their boyfriend and still didn’t ask my hand in marriage.

RIO

Or maybe all of you are just sociopaths, who knows…

BERLIN _ , just smirking _ .

PALERMO

Do you all know your roles?

BERLIN

Do you have any question before we start?

NAIROBI

I have one!

BERLIN

Yes? Go ahead?

NAIROBI

Why don’t I have to play another character?

PALERMO

Because you will be busy getting killed.

BERLIN

I asked you not to give spoilers Martìn…

PALERMO,  _ not sorry the slightest _ .

Ladies and gentlemen!

BERLIN

The Lover and the Beloved.

  
  
  
  


**SCENE II**

NARRATOR (TOKYO), BERLIN, PALERMO, NAIROBI, DENVER, RIO, LISBOA, SERGIO

NARRATOR (Tokyo) 

In the relationship of love, we have the lover and the beloved. The lover lives the relationship with passion, devotion, romanticism. The beloved? The beloved simply enjoys being worshiped.

BERLIN

I am going to eat dinner with Tatiana.

You will think about me. But I won’t be thinking about you.

NAIROBI,  _ to herself, low _ .

Ouch. I know this wasn’t @ me but it kinda hurt.

PALERMO

You can go. It’s very clear. I got it.

BERLIN

Please. You think I don’t love you? I feel it too. There is something between us, something extraordinary, unique, marvelous. I know about love. I have been married five times. What I have never told you is that… None of those women ever made me feel something remotely similar to what I feel with you. Not even close. You and I are soulmates.

DENVER,  _ confused. _

Why am I supposed to say “omg, they are soulmates”?

PALERMO,  _ to berlin _ .

I told you we should have given that line to Rio.

BERLIN

You and I are soulmates.

RIO

Omg, they are soulmates!

BERLIN

But just 99%.

BERLIN

You see, I really like women. I like them a lot.

NAIROBI

Well that’s new, smells like bullshit….

BERLIN,  _ repeating himself, pretending he didn’t hear her _ . 

You see I like women. I like them a lot.

NAIROBI

I rest my case.

BERLIN,  _ looking at her to shut her up _ .

NAIROBI

What?  _ (crossing her arms) _ Your misogynist ass doesn’t like women, sorry to break it to you.

BERLIN

Have you noticed that we are in the middle of something?

NAIROBI

Of course, I have! I was just saying…

BERLIN

None of us asked you to!

NAIROBI

It’s constructive criticism!

BERLIN

This is blatant slander! Will you let me talk? I am trying to confess romantically!

NAIROBI

Try harder then, because I couldn’t tell!

BERLIN,  _ starting over for the third time _ .

You know, I really like women. I like them a lot. And you like me too much. 

PALERMO

What’s that 1% against 99%?  _ (stands up and start walking toward Berlin _ ) Unless you are not brave enough to try it?

BERLIN

That one percent is a tiny mitochondrion-

NAIROBI

Okay I am really sorry but that went from 100 to 0 really quick, what does that mitochondrion have to do with your feelings for him? Berlin sweetie?

BERLIN,  _ clearly pissed and offended. _

So you really are going to make comments every two seconds?

SERGIO

Well, if I may…

BERLIN

God not you too…

SERGIO

Mathematically speaking, they are approximately 50 trillion mitochondria in your body. Therefore, one mitochondrion can only make up to… 0,000000000000002 percent… I mean, if my calculations are exact.

PALERMO

You tell him Sergio!!

BERLIN

Y’all ever heard of metaphors? 

LISBOA

Was that one?

BERLIN

Y-

LISBOA

Because if it was, it really sucked.

NAIROBI

Roast him!

BERLIN,  _ almost screaming _ . 

That 1% is a tiny mitochondrion that represents my desire.

PALERMO,  _ getting closer to Berlin. _

Where is the desire? Where? Is it here? ( _ he brushes Berlin’s temples with his fingers, slowly caressing the sides of his face) _

BERLIN

Martin…

PALERMO

Don’t be afraid… ( _ Whispering before leaning in slowly _ ) Don’t be afraid. ( _ putting his lips on his for the very first time) _

PALERMO

Are you a coward, huh?

SERGIO _ , looking away from his brother and Palermo kissing _ .

I… I thought showing that kind of thing was forbidden in plays…

PALERMO,  _ annoyed by the interruption, rolling his eyes _ . 

Here he goes again…

BERLIN,  _ keeping his eyes on Palermo, slowly putting his point finger on his lips to keep him from talking. To Sergio. _

Open your script page 394.

RIO,  _ laughing by himself. _

Ok Severus.

THE CLASS

…

RIO

What? I can’t be the only one in this room who read Harry Potter?

PALERMO,  _ talking despite Berlin’s finger still on his lips _ .

Yes, you can be! in this house we don’t support the work of a transphobic and problematic white billionaire!

MANILA

Amen

PALERMO,  _ finger guns at her _ . 

BERLIN,  _ waiting for him to be done _ . 

Sergio, hermanito, do you mind reading what is written

SERGIO

I… I guess I don’t mind.

BERLIN

Go on then. We are all ears.

SERGIO

_ “Ce qu’on ne doit point voir, qu’un r _ _ é _ _ cit nous l’expose : _ _  
_ _ Les yeux en le voyant saisiroient mieux la chose ; _ _  
_ _ Mais il est des objets que l’art judicieux _ _  
_ _ Doit offrir  _ _ à _ _ l’oreille et reculer des yeux” _ _. _

BERLIN

Read the next sentence a little bit louder, so we are sure everyone hears you

SERGIO,  _ clearing his throat, slightly raising his voice _ . 

_ “Au diable! Les règles prudes et dépassées!.  _

_ Qui est-il, ce poète, pour nous interdire de nous embrasser?” _

DENVER

I don’t understand German… 

BOGOTA

Lucky you, that was in French.

DENVER

Well I obviously don’t understand French either. What does it mean?

PALERMO

“Heck! Who cares about the rules, we do what we want!”

SERGIO

I am pretty sure this isn’t the exact translation.

BERLIN

Who cares, that was the spirit! Thank you for your participation Sergio. Was that clear?

PALERMO,  _ cutting short, not letting anyone the time to raise their hand. _

Perfect, no question, thank god, don’t interrupt us again.

BERLIN

Where were we?

PALERMO _ , starting to step back against the wall. _

My favorite part.

BERLIN,  _ following him before choking him with his left hand once Palermo’s back hits the wall, kissing him to be sure he knows where is his desire.  _

I would give anything to be able to feel this but…( _ interrupting the kiss before leaning in again _ ) 

It’s impossible.

BERLIN

It’s impossible.

PALERMO

I offered to melt gold with you!

BERLIN

I have to leave you. It’s because of love. And for our brotherhood. For the commitment I have to you. Leave and heal the wound. ( _ puts on his hat _ ) Sometimes distance is the only way to find peace. Farewell, my friend. I am sure that one way or another time will bring us back together.

- _Exit Berlin-_

**SCENE III**

PALERMO, MARSEILLE, BOGOTA

_Slight changes in the stage, there are now a small sofa and an old-fashioned TV in front of the classroom, to show that the action took place a while ago in_ _Palermo’s flat._

MARSEILLE

We are tired of seeing you so… miserable?

PALERMO

Well maybe you should leave then.

BOGOTA

What a great way to treat your friends Martin. I hope you realize how much of an asshole you are to us.

PALERMO

I have literally always been an asshole don’t pretend this is new?

BOGOTA

You used to be a funny asshole which was much better than a depressed one if we are being honest.

PALERMO 

Yeah maybe this is why I am asking you to leave me the fuck alone, ever thought of that?

BOGOTA

So what? Because he left you think we will too?

PALERMO

What’s the point of anyone else staying?

BOGOTA

I hate to bring it back but if we didn’t stay you would be dead by now. Cut the bullshit.

PALERMO

This is a low blow.

BOGOTA

This is the truth Martin.

PALERMO

I never asked anyone to stay. God. I didn’t even ask him to stay. 

MARSEILLE

Martin.

PALERMO

I just really wish he did.

BOGOTA

Martin. 

MARSEILLE

I don’t think he will come back.

PALERMO

You were not here when he kissed me.

MARSEILLE

No, we weren’t.

PALERMO

He told me he loves me.

BOGOTA

And then he left! What an amazing way to show it!

PALERMO,  _ like a broken record _ .

You were not here when he kissed me.

BOGOTA

Yeah. But right now, we are here and he is nowhere to be seen.

PALERMO

He has things to do.

BOGOTA

What? Printing money? With people who are named after cities?

PALERMO

He had to do it. For his brother. He will come back.

BOGOTA

What if he doesn’t?

PALERMO

Don’t.

BOGOTA

What if he dies in there?

PALERMO

I said don’t.

BOGOTA

No, listen now. What if he dies in there? What are you gonna do? What if he never gets out? Think about it.

PALERMO

He will get out. It’s Berlin. And the plan is Sergio’s. It’s safe. It’s perfect. Unlike ours, apparently.

BOGOTA

Okay. What if he doesn’t die in the Mint then. What if he doesn’t come back?

PALERMO

I tell you he will.

BOGOTA

You don’t even believe it yourself.

PALERMO,  _ aggressivel _ y. 

I told you he will come back.

MARSEILLE

Martin. I don’t think you believe it either.

PALERMO

I-

MARSEILLE

I think you wouldn’t be so miserable if you truly believed he will come back.

BOGOTA

And even if he comes back. How many months has he left? Two? Six? How many? 

MARSEILLE

Hey…

BOGOTA

No, let’s talk about it. We need to talk about it. Let’s admit he won’t die in the mint. Let’s believe he will come back. What’s next? In the end, he will still die. And you will still be heartbroken. And I am afraid it would be even worse.

MARSEILLE

Yeah not sure it can be worse…

BOGOTA

We are trying to be optimistic there Marseille?

PALERMO

How is telling me Andrés will die anyway “trying to be optimistic”?

BOGOTA

See! You always see the glass half empty! We were also imagining he was coming back!

MARSEILLE

This is the most optimistic we could potentially be.

PALERMO

Okay I think I have heard enough. Maybe it’s time for you two to shut up. ( _ walking towards the little sofa in front of a TV ) _

BOGOTA

Don’t!

PALERMO

Don’t what?

BOGOTA

Don’t put on the TV. Let’s do something else. Let’s go out!

PALERMO

Go out yourself, you know where the door is, I am not leaving this flat.

MARSEILLE

Let’s listen to music! That one vinyl you like so much

PALERMO

You mean the one HE gifted me?

MARSEILLE

Okay maybe not this one, come on you have hundreds I know he didn’t gift you all of them.

PALERMO,  _ suspicious. _

You two just don’t want me to watch Tv, right?

BOGOTA

Ahaha why would you think that ahaha we just think it’s not an activity that would bright up your mood ahah.

PALERMO,  _ running to the TV remote _ .

What the fuck happened to him?!

_ He switches the TV on, where a journalist is reporting the news about one of the criminals being Andrés, showing his mugshots and accusing him of crimes Martin knows he never committed. In the background, he guesses the silhouette of Sergio, obviously flirting with the police. _

  
  


**SCENE IV**

SERGIO, PALERMO

_ There is a red phone on Sergio’s desk. Palermo is looking through the window, at the back of the classroom. He pretends to make a call. The phone on Sergio’s desk starts ringing. _

SERGIO

Hello?

PALERMO

Sergio how are you doing my friend?

SERGIO

Martin. Hi. I don’t really have time for a chat right now. Sorry.

PALERMO

But you have the time to fuck the inspector in charge of the case right?

SERGIO

Martin, listen.

PALERMO

No, you listen! That bitch ruined his name. She spread dirt on him. Accusing him of things we both know fucking well he never did. And you let it happen. Just like that. You did nothing to avoid it. You probably don’t even watch TV but I do. Sergio, how can you let them do that to your own fucking brother?

SERGIO

I never thought they would step so low.

PALERMO

Of course they would! What were you fucking thinking? I thought you were smart! Isn’t that what you kept telling us? That your plan was perfect!

SERGIO

Martin, I really didn’t know they would do this.

PALERMO

It was your job to know. It was your fucking job. Sergio, you only had one job and you failed miserably.

SERGIO

I-

PALERMO

What is he going to do when he gets out? You said they would never find out who he was. Never see his face. Never know his name. And now, now everything went to shit. He was supposed to be safe, isn’t that what you said all the time? “my plan is safe!” 

SERGIO

The plan…

PALERMO

Fuck you and your plan! The plan was perfect my ass. It went to shit and you lost control, just admit it.

SERGIO

I didn’t lose-

PALERMO

Don’t give me this bullshit. You can give it to anybody but not to me. I know the plan. Andrés knows the plan. And this! What is happening right now! Is definitely not what was planned.

SERGIO

They were some lose ends.

PALERMO

Hear me out. You better get him out of there.

SERGIO

I-

PALERMO

You better get him out of there or I will fucking find you to kill you myself.

SERGIO

Martin. 

PALERMO

You should be inside the Mint. This was your plan. You should be the one whose name is ruined. You should have been the one taking all the risks.

SERGIO

I am the most exposed to-

PALERMO

Of course, because they are definitely 20 snipers outside of your building waiting for you to go near your window to shoot you down. Come on hermanito, you even have the time to fuck the inspector. If you were the most exposed she would have put you in jail by now.

SERGIO

Andrés agreed to getting in.

PALERMO

You think I don’t know that? ( _ repeating again _ ) He agreed because you said your plan was safe. You said it was perfect. There were not supposed to be lose ends Sergio. Not even one. He agreed because he trusted you and believed you were getting him out, rich and still anonymous. With his name just as clear as when he got inside. Do you think he doesn’t know the plan is going to shit? Come on, Andrés is smarter than that! He knows the plan just as much as we do and this, what’s happening inside the mint right now, isn’t the plan.

SERGIO

I will try to-

PALERMO

I don’t care what you will do about that stupid heist. I only care about him getting out of there. Alive.

SERGIO

I-

PALERMO

Am I being clear? He is getting out. No matter at what cost. You made him go in, you are getting him out. I don’t care if you have to blow the whole fucking building up, he is not dying in there. He is not dying printing money.

SERGIO

What tells you he will come back to you when he gets out?

PALERMO

You really don’t get it. Of course you don’t. What do you know about love?

SERGIO,  _ reformulating _ .

What makes you think anything would be different when he gets out? You have lived together all those years, yet he was never yours. 

PALERMO

You think you can hurt me? You think your words can have enough power over me to make me feel pain? Your words? Yours?

SERGIO

You will just sit there at yet another wedding of his with someone who still isn’t you.

PALERMO

If he wants to get married another 7 times he will. Because you are getting him out of there.

SERGIO

I-

PALERMO

And you will be sitting with me at the table like you always do, still alone. Because even if Andrés will never be mine, he loves me. But your inspector, Sergio, how do you think she will feel when she realizes that you have been playing with her all along? She will loathe you. And she has every right to.

SERGIO

She-

PALERMO

I don’t care if he comes back to me or not. I just care about him being alive. Do you understand? Is that fucking clear? You are getting him out.

SERGIO

I will get him out.

PALERMO

I wish I could make you swear on something or someone you care about, but the only thing you love is your stupid plan that went to shit already. But again, I am the narcissist, right Sergio? 

SERGIO

Martin. I will get him out of there.

  
  
  


**SCENE V**

SERGIO, PALERMO, LISBOA, BERLIN

_ Sergio is alone, standing on stage, one hand under his chin, thinking deeply and out loud. _

SERGIO,  _ talking to himself _ .

Hear me out! I just had the greatest idea ever! What if…Before leaving Madrid… I give some hints about my hiding location to Raquel, who, technically speaking, is still the inspector who is in charge of the case? Ahah, just kidding! Unless? Maybe I should draw the island on which I will settle behind some postcards and add the geographic coordinates, to be sure she knows exactly where I will be staying!

Yeah this is definitely a great idea, she is a smart woman she will figure it out!

And she will come there in person and we will live happily ever after, with her daughter and mother that she will definitely bring with her to get married to an alleged criminal.

Because she wouldn’t inform the police of where I am ahah, of course she wouldn’t, this is 100% safe.

If you think I am putting everyone in danger with this one, think again! You are wrong! I know what I am doing! I calculated the risks! I am great at math! A real genius!

I mean, what could potentially go wrong? Let’s not think about it! ( _ stopping in the middle of his speech, looking up from the script ) _

Okay now I guess this whole scene was written just to humiliate me, Andrés what does this add to the play?

BERLIN

I don’t know, I am not the one who wrote it, ask Martin.

SERGIO

Are you ever going to let me live? Why would you make me look so dumb?

PALERMO,  _ pointing an accusative finger at him _ . 

Just admit it, this decision was reckless!

SERGIO

Nothing happened to any of us! I knew what I was doing! Raquel is more trust worthy than you ever will be.

PALERMO

Do I look like I care about your trust?

SERGIO

You-

PALERMO

What are you going to do if the only purpose of this scene is to laugh at you, huh?

SERGIO

I don’t want to be part of this madness anymore!

PALERMO

You never wanted to be part of this madness in the first place! 

SERGIO

Because I know it won’t work!

PALERMO

Just like you thought your plan was perfect! Lucky us you are usually wrong!

SERGIO

Martin. I did my part of the job. I got him out of the Mint.

PALERMO: 

You also let that woman ( _ pointing his finger at Lisboa _ ) spread bullshit about him,  _ (raising a second finger to enumerate) _ almost got him killed, -

SERGIO

Are you still pissed about the fact that I told Andrés you were in love with him?

PALERMO

What does this have to do with anything?

SERGIO

I don’t know, you tell me.

PALERMO

And why wouldn’t I be? This wasn’t your secret to tell.

BERLIN

Actually, it wasn’t really a secret…

SERGIO

No Andrés, don’t rewrite history. You were blind. If I didn’t open your eyes they would still be closed.

PALERMO

Glad we finally agree on one thing.

LISBOA

I know this is a little off topic but am I really getting no line in the scene supposed to introduced me?

PALERMO

Oh Lord, we actually may have forgotten…

LISBOA

You have to be kidding me? 

BERLIN

It’s an honest mistake really!

PALERMO

For our defense, we started writing this play way before you came in the picture!

NARRATOR

It’s hard, telling a story about someone you don’t know. Someone you only met once, or not at all. Even harder when the person did things you will never be able to forgive. 

**SCENE VI**

NARRATOR (Tokyo), TOKYO, PALERMO, RIO, SERGIO.

NARRATOR (Tokyo),  _ clearing her throat _ .

Ô-

PALERMO

No, no, no please! You can’t just ruin the whole play during the first act! I want emotions, feelings, I want expressions! Tell me this story with your face, show me this tragedy with your moves, you are supposed to embody the resistance Tokyo! You are not some bored teenager in her literature lesson! 

TOKYO

I didn’t even start.

PALERMO

And you already got it wrong! What does that tell you about yourself! Do better!

NARRATOR (Tokyo),  _ standing on her desk _ . 

Ô captain, my captain! Our fearful trip is done.

SERGIO

Isn’t that a Whitman’s quote?

PALERMO

You think we are not smart enough to come up with this on our own, huh?

SERGIO

I just know the poem.

PALERMO

I wish you also knew how to keep quiet in the middle of a scene! Go on Tokyo you were doing great.

NARRATOR (Tokyo) 

If time was trying to bring the lover and the beloved back together, it was also working its ass off to tear the straights apart.

PALERMO

Oh my god! That was the first draft I must have forgotten to edit it out, my bad.

SERGIO

You left that on purpose, didn’t you?

PALERMO

How dare you accuse me of such a thing!? I would never.

NARRATOR (Tokyo)

One day, everything was fine. The next, I was doing something stupid, thinking about no one but myself and putting everyone in danger with my reckless decisions.

TOKYO

Berlin wrote that part right?

PALERMO

Can you just stick to reading the script? Or is that order too hard to follow?

TOKYO,  _ rolling her eyes _ .

I was just asking…

NARRATOR

Rio and I have been on our island for a few months. The people there were the nicest we ever met. They didn’t speak our language, and we didn’t speak theirs, but we still managed to communicate pretty well. They accepted us as if we were one of them, totally unaware that we were there in hiding. Totally unaware that we were criminals. The sun was always shining high in a sky that was always blue. The water of the sea was clearer than any we have ever seen from the continent, and warm, so warm. The ocean never looked dangerous from there, on the contrary, it protected us from the outside world, where we would never be welcome again. Time, we realized, really was a social construct. At night, we could make love on the beach, under a sky full of a thousand stars. Our island was ours. It was all we ever wanted. It was the place we used to dream of, before the heist, and during it, when things went to shit. It was safe, it was just for us. It was home. It was heaven on earth. But I was not born to live in heaven. 

NARRATOR

I remember the morning I realized I could no longer do it, stay there. It was just another day, following just another night, still as perfect as the ones before. If I knew, under the moon, that it was the last time I would see the starts shining so bright, maybe I would have admired them just a little longer, to imprint them in memory. Maybe Rio would have admired them a little less, to look at me and me only. It was our last night, and none of us knew.

TOKYO,  _ holding Rio’s jaw to look at him in the eyes, whispering.  _

I have to leave you.

RIO

Took you long enough.

TOKYO,  _ shocked by the script and Rio’s line _ . 

What?

RIO,  _ turning to Palermo _ .

Okay why is this so unrealistic?

PALERMO

The unrealistic part is the fact that she didn’t leave you earlier, we had to adapt.

RIO

So that’s it? She leaves and I do nothing?

PALERMO

When someone you love wants to leave, you are not holding on to them. You let them go, because they already made their decision. And if you loving them can’t make them stay, there is nothing you can do or say that will change their mind. If they are meant to be yours, they will come back. If they aren’t, there was not point on holding on anyway.

NARRATOR (Tokyo)

In the relationship of love, we have the lover and the beloved. The lover lives the relationship with passion, devotion, romanticism. Rio always was the lover.

  
  
  


**SCENE VII**

NARRATOR (TOKYO), DENVER, STOCKHOLM, CINCINNATI, BERLIN, NAIROBI

NARRATOR

Denver is, amongst us all, probably the one who changed the most. He got married to Monica, in south America, where they started a family. He became a dad, and immediately got a grasp of adulthood and responsibilities. In the blink of the eyes, he went from an immature teenager, to a wise and reliable man.

DENVER,  _ talking with Rio, Nairobi, Bogota and Helsinki, showing them pics of his child. _

Being parents is definitely the best thing that can happen to anyone. I am not good with words but I feel like a totally different person since I got lucky enough to become a father. It’s like, you are all alone and only care about yourself and your own needs but then, suddenly, you have that tiny little human in your arms and you know that nothing is ever going to be the same. You have not known it for a second and you already could do anything to protect it.

You always love your kid, whether they are a boy or a girl. It’s not that important.

NARRATOR

This beautiful and heartwarming story was slightly different from Stockholm’s point of view.

DENVER

IT’S A BOY! ( _ smiling the brightest he ever has at Stockholm _ )

IT’S A BOY! ( _ looking proudly at Manila _ ) IT’S A BOY! ( _ high-fiving Tokyo behind him _ ) IT’S A BOY ( _ slapping enthusiastically Rio’s shoulder _ ) IT’S A B- Okay this is getting annoying I didn’t say it that many times.

STOCKHOLM

Darling…

DENVER

What? I am not denying that I was happy and relieved but not to that point.

STOCKHOLM _ , just looking at him fondly _ .

DENVER

I didn’t yell it that many times… ( _ Starting to doubt himself _ ) Right?

STOCKHOLM

Let’s say everyone in the hospital is very aware that the Spanish couple got a boy. The entire neighborhood… ( _ she lets out a small giggle before adding _ ) The whole city?

DENVER,  _ almost pouting _ .

Why didn’t you tell me I was insufferable?

BERLIN

Lord imagine if she had to inform you every time you are…

DENVER

I-

BERLIN,  _ to Palermo _ . 

Why was that scene so boring again?

PALERMO

Because they are heterosexuals?

BERLIN

Back in the days, I used to be heterosexual too.

PALERMO

Yeah, I think I remember that. Not my fondest memory.

BERLIN

Was I that boring? 

PALERMO

You not knowing that you were bi doesn’t make you straight?

BERLIN

Some points were made.

BERLIN

For real why would we let a scene that boring in our play. This is unlike us. I need answers.

NAIROBI

Maybe because you asked Denver to kill her and you are feeling remorse so you are being kind to her in the hope you will be forgiven one day?

BERLIN

Did you put me and remorse in the same sentence? I need another answer.

NAIROBI

I-

BERLIN

Preferably one not given by Nairobi.

RIO

They hated her because she spoke the truth.

DENVER

What do you mean our scene was boring? It was great. You are just biased.

PALERMO

Yes, we are. Now if you may, we’d like to officially turn your son into a member of the gang!

BERLIN

Go on kiddo! This is your time to shine!

PALERMO

Introduce yourself little one!

CINCINNATI

My name is Cincinnati.

BERLIN,  _ suddenly yelling _ .

DENVER!

DENVER,  _ surprised by the hostility coming out of nowhere _ .

What?

BERLIN

How could you do that to your own son? 

DENVER

What!

BERLIN

What was all that speech about loving your baby with your everything and wanting to protect him at all cost?

DENVER

What about it?

BERLIN

You don’t name someone you love Cincinnati!

PALERMO

Andrés, love, stop screaming the baby is scared.

BERLIN

Which baby?

PALERMO

Me

PALERMO

Just kidding obviously, the kiddo who introduced himself by a concerning hard to wear name I already forgot? You are scarring him. Stop screaming.

BERLIN

I was not even screaming?

PALERMO

Stop raising your voice then?

BERLIN

I barely raised it?

PALERMO

You could be whispering and still scare the poor kid!

BERLIN,  _ making himself smaller to be at eye level with Cincinnati. _

Kiddo. Hi.

CINCINNATI,  _ staring at him with his arms crossed _ .

BERLIN

What’s your name again?

CINCINNATI,  _ looking at Stockholm, who lifts her thumb to show him it’s okay to answer _ .

Cincinnati.

BERLIN

God when you turn 18 pay me a visit, I will help you fill a lawsuit against your parents.

CINCINNATI

What’s a lawsuit?

BERLIN,  _ offended _ .

You don’t know what’s a lawsuit? Typical Denver’s spawn’s behavior. Should have seen it coming.

DENVER

He is 3 years old.

STOCKHOLM _ , gesturing to Cincinnati _ . 

Come here my love.

PALERMO

No, no, no! it’s okay he can stay there.

BERLIN

We are great babysitters! You can trust us! Nothing bad will happen to him! The stage is safe!

DENVER

Are you expecting us to trust you? With Cincinnati?

BERLIN

Well first of all we would never have named him Cincinnati? This was cruel and uncalled for. That poor kid breathed and never asked for this. 

PALERMO

You are the ones we should protect him from!

DENVER

What do you have against Cincinnati? It’s a beautiful city!

BERLIN

We are not talking about the city but about the first name. Have you ever meet someone called Cincinnati? The answer is NO! because it’s not supposed to be a name!

DENVER _ , about to clap back. _

W-

STOCKHOLM,  _ softly touching his arm, to appease him _ . 

Hey darling, it’s not worth losing energy over. It’s just Berlin. ( _ whispering to him only, as if they were alone in the room _ ) It’s not important. We don’t care. We don’t care.

NARRATOR

In the relationship of love, we usually have the lover and the beloved, but sometimes, when you are lucky, and by lucky, I mean when you are the luckiest person on earth, you can be both at the same time. Because no matter how much you love your beloved, they love you back with the exact same intensity. Denver and Stockholm were that kind of lucky. 

  
  


**SCENE VIII**

NAIROBI, HELSINKI, NARRATOR, RIO, PALERMO, DENVER

NARRATOR

On the other side of the world, Nairobi and Helsinki were just as happy, but not as lucky. What can we say? Not everyone can be.

NAIROBI

People think we look like a couple.

RIO

A couple of bestiiies.

NAIROBI

I think it’s true. We look like a couple, a great one.

HELSINKI

We will never find someone if people think we are married

NAIROBI

I don’t need anyone but you Helsi! You and I, we have been through a lot. I will never go through so much with anyone else. I am happy like that, you know? I don’t mind being mistaken for your wife. I like it a lot, actually. 

HELSINKI

One day you will be someone’s wife for real, and you will build a family and I promise you, you will like that even more.

NAIROBI

But we are a family already, you and I? See? It’s Christmas and I wouldn’t spend it with anyone else.

HELSINKI

Of course, we are family. Siblings. You are like my sister and I am proud to have you as my sister.

DENVER,  _ keeping count _ .

Friendzone 1 - Nairobi 0

NAIROBI

Don’t you think we could be different? You love me, don’t you? Why can’t we be different?

HELSINKI

Nairobi. You know why. And you know I love you, but not like that.

NAIROBI,  _ she whispers _ . 

I am sorry I love you like that. 

HELSINKI

One day you will meet someone, and then you will know. What we have, Nairobi, is not love. Not the romantic one. 

NAIROBI

Helsi…

HELSINKI

What we have feels safe, but we are not the kind of people who settle for just safety. Romantic love requires taking risks. You and I? We are not taking risks by being together Nairobi, we are just staying in a zone that feels safe, and we are too scared to get out of it and start again to feel the thrill of loving someone who may not love us back.

NAIROBI

I took enough risks in my life. I am tired of them.

HELSINKI

Don’t you think you are tired because you are no longer taking enough of them? The adrenaline, the thrill of the rush, don’t you miss them sometimes? Because I do. And I know that you do too. That’s just who we are, right? Adrenaline freaks that will never be satisfied, and never have enough of life, never have enough in love. When we steal money? We steal big. When we party? We party like crazy until the next morning. When we play a game? We win. We don’t settle, Nairobi, we don’t surrender. Not in life. Not in heists. And certainly not in love.

BERLIN,  _ turning to Palermo _ . 

Damn we really are the Shakespeare of our generation.

PALERMO

The fact that we actually wrote that is mind-blowing.

NAIROBI

Who is interrupting who now?

BERLIN

We are making you a favor, we know that his words left you speechless. You wouldn’t have known what to answer anyway.

NAIROBI

Who came up with this “it takes bravery to be in love bullshit”?

PALERMO

Actually, it was you, you just don’t know it yet.

NAIROBI

And who told you I was in love with Helsinki? You got it all wrong! He is my best friend!

PALERMO

Oh, trust me, I know someone in love with their best friend when I see one. Been there done that.

NAIROBI

Just because you got your heart broken doesn’t mean you have the right to break mine in your play!

PALERMO

But that’s what lovers do, Nairobi, they love and they love and they get their heart broken. And do you know they do next? Once their heart is broken? ( _ lower _ ) They keep loving.

**SCENE IX**

BERLIN, PALERMO, NAIROBI, SERGIO, TOKYO

_ The same décor as for scene III, Palermo’s flat _

NARRATOR

There is a thing about beloveds. Not matter for how long they leave, no matter how far from you they go, they always find their way back. It’s quite ironic, when you think about it. How it’s possible for lovers to survive without their beloveds, but impossible for beloveds to live without their lovers. Maybe believing they don’t depend on them is what makes beloveds so weak. Beloveds’ hearts do not break, no. Beloveds’ hearts just start beating slower, and slower, until they eventually stop, if they aren’t fed love for too long. 

BERLIN

Martin.

PALERMO

Andrés. 

BERLIN

Hello again, my friend.

PALERMO

Why are you there?

BERLIN

How do I look?

PALERMO

Older.

BERLIN

Printing money was fun. 

PALERMO

I bet it was.

BERLIN,  _ looks around the place _ .

Is it where you live without me?

PALERMO

Why are you there?

BERLIN

I have been thinking about you.

PALERMO,  _ whispering. _

You are lying.

BERLIN

I almost died in the Mint.

PALERMO

So I have seen.

BERLIN

Oh, you watched TV…

PALERMO

I shouldn’t have, probably.

BERLIN

Yeah, you really shouldn’t have. ( _ he breathes _ ) Things got ugly…

PALERMO

It didn’t look pretty from outside.

BERLIN

From the inside either. ( _ he pauses, searching his words _ ) Do you know what I was thinking? When I reckoned I could die there? I thought… God. Printing money is such a shitty reason to die. 

PALERMO

It really is. I would have killed you if you died printing money.

BERLIN

Still. I almost died. And that’s when I figured that, if I was going to die so young, ( _ he exhales, looking at Martin straight in the eyes _ ) I wanted to die melting gold.

PALERMO,  _ just holding his stare _ .

BERLIN

You know, I have been thinking about you.

PALERMO

You already mentioned that.

BERLIN

Let me say it another time. I have been thinking about you. ( _ getting closer _ ) I have been thinking about you during that dinner. I have been thinking about you the night after. I have been thing about you for weeks. ( _ he reaches Martin, they are both standing face to face _ ) For months. I was in the mint. And I was dying. ( _ he lifts his fingers to Martin’s face, softly brushing his temples _ ) And there was this woman I was shagging. And I thought. God. ( _ his fingers slowly caressing the sides of his face _ ) I can’t die with her. I can’t die here. I can’t die printing money.

NAIROBI

Not to interrupt yet another soppy speech, but Berlin sweetie, why would you mention that you were fucking a random woman in the mint?

PALERMO

Glad I am not the only one wondering.

BERLIN 

Are you really trying to ruin all of my sentimental moments?

NAIROBI

Why would I try to ruin them, you are doing a really good job at it yourself, you don’t need me for that! I don’t understand how come he still hasn’t throw you out after all the things you putted him through.

BERLIN

Hey, there is no secret between us, I tell him everything! Maybe if you knew anything about love you’d known that honesty is essential in relationships.

NAIROBI

Yeah because you really are the reference when it comes to relationships, Mister five marriages sold by five divorces. Do you know what five divorces really mean? Five times you failed at love.

BERLIN

Okay but do you know what no marriage means? “I am not brave enough to give it a try”.

NAIROBI

I know you two are delusional but trying to push the “we are brave and Nairobi is a coward” narrative will lead you nowhere because at the end of the day I am still the fucking boss and you are still assholes.

BERLIN,  _ to Palermo _ .

I thought we said no swearing in the play?

PALERMO

She is obviously not reading her script right now.

NAIROBI

Of course I am not! Just add another line page 394: fuck your script! when it sucks I say what I want!

BERLIN

Can you let us finish?

NAIROBI

Depends, is he going to throw you out? Because anyone with common sense would spit on your face and-

SERGIO

Look at Palermo a second. ( _ pointing at him _ ) Does he look like someone with common sense to you?

TOKYO,  _ turning to her _ . 

Nairobi, no one with common sense would be in love with Berlin.

BERLIN,  _ offended. _

I am not that bad!

NAIROBI

You are worst!

PALERMO

Okay that’s enough, Tokyo, narrator ending ment please.

NARRATOR

In the relationship of love, we have the lover and the beloved. The lover lives the relationship with passion, devotion, romanticism. The beloved? The beloved simply enjoys being worshiped. There is no escape from love. Once it hits you, it’s already too late. You can try to run away but time, time is a romantic. It always brings the Lover and the Beloved back together.

**INTERLUDE I**

_ First break from the lesson. Everyone leaves their sit to discuss with the others, mainly about the play. They were not expecting that when the professor called them all back. From the windows, you can hear the monks of the monastery singing outside. _

_ Fighting with a true love is boxing with no gloves _ _  
_ _ Chemistry 'til it blows up, 'til there's no us _ _  
_ _ Why'd I have to break what I love so much? _ _  
_ _ It's on your face, and I'm to blame, I need to say _

PALERMO, _putting his chin on Berlin’s shoulder_ _from behind_.

You learned to like them quite a lot, when you prepared for the Mint, huh?

BERLIN

I have no clue what you are talking about.

PALERMO

It’s written on your face. You grew fond of them. ( _ both are looking at the group _ )

BERLIN

I didn’t! Half of them are stupid, and the others are idiots!

_ Hey _ _  
_ _ It's all me in my head _ _  
_ _ I'm the one who burned us down _ _  
_ _ But it's not what I meant _ _  
_ _ Sorry that I hurt you _ _  
_ _ I don't wanna do, I don't wanna do this to you _ _  
_ _ I don't wanna lose, I don't wanna lose this with you _ _  
_ _ I need to say, hey _ _  
_ _ It's all me, just don't go _ _  
_ _ Meet me in the afterglow _

STOCKHOLM

I think Berlin is trying really hard to be forgiven for asking you to kill me.

DENVER

That’s the least he can do… He better keep that energy for the next 4 acts.

STOCKHOLM

I wouldn’t be so optimistic. I mean, he also did call our son’s name “unwearable”.

DENVER

Don’t remind me, I was about to throw hands.

_ It's so excruciating to see you low _ _  
_ _ Just wanna lift you up and not let you go _ _  
_ _ This ultraviolet morning light below _ _  
_ _ Tells me this love is worth the fight, oh _

_ I lived like an island, punished you with silence _ _  
_ _ Went off like sirens, just crying _ _  
_ _ Why'd I have to break what I love so much? _

_ It's on your face, don't walk away, I need to say _

BOGOTA

I can’t believe they gave you so many lines. 

MARSEILLE

How many times do I have to tell you I am not mute for you to stop coming up with this?

BOGOTA

I have known you for a decade and this is the most I have ever heard you talk!

_ Hey _ _  
_ _ It's all me in my head _ _  
_ _ I'm the one who burned us down _ _  
_ _ But it's not what I meant _ _  
_ _ I'm sorry that I hurt you _ _  
_ _ I don't wanna do, I don't wanna do this to you _ _  
_ _ I don't wanna lose, I don't wanna lose this with you _ _  
_ _ I need to say, hey _ _  
_ _ It's all me, just don't go _ _  
_ _ Meet me in the afterglow _

LISBOA

I have a feeling Palermo and Berlin don’t like me very much.

SERGIO

Don’t worry, everyone has that feeling when they meet them. Get used to it, it won’t pass.

NAIROBI

Lies! I think they quite like me, I have some badass lines.

SERGIO

Don’t get yourself fooled, they are killing you in the fourth act.

NAIROBI

I am surprised we all made it through the first one.

_ I need to say, hey _ _  
_ _ It's all me in my head _ _  
_ _ I'm the one who burned us down _ _  
_ _ But it's not what I meant _

_  
_ NAIROBI

They really made you pull a Gandhi on me out of nowhere.

HELSINKI

What? You don’t think I could have told you that myself.

NAIROBI

Could you?

HELSINKI

Probably not. But still!

TOKYO

Helsinki! How dare you break my best friend’s heart! 

HELSINKI

Ask Palermo and Berlin.

TOKYO

Nairobi my love, do you know what we should do? Find you a boyfriend!

NAIROBI

I already don’t like where this is going.

TOKYO

Bogota has been looking at you a lot, did you notice?

NAIROBI

Absolutely not. Get this idea of out your head right now Tokyo.

TOKYO,  _ pointing at her own eyes and then at Nairobi’s. _

I will be watching you.

_ Sorry that I hurt you _ _  
_ _ I don't wanna do, I don't wanna do this to you _ _  
_ _ I don't wanna lose, I don't wanna lose this with you _ _  
_ _ I need to say, hey _ _  
_ _ It's all me, just don't go _ _  
_ _ Meet me in the afterglow _

RIO

I can’t believe they broke us apart before you got the chance to.

TOKYO

I can’t believe they beat me to it either! 

RIO

Tokyo.

TOKYO,  _ putting her hands behind his neck. _

Oh, come on, you know I am joking! 

DENVER

So, what does it feel like to be exes?

RIO

It’s quite the relief to be honest, we didn’t know how to leave each other so we are glad Berlin and Palermo took the matter in their hands.

TOKYO

And how does it feel to be the luckiest couple in the room?

STOCKHOLM

Well, the usual.

DENVER

We already knew we were the luckiest.

  
  


_ Tell me that you're still mine _ _  
_ _ Tell me that we'll be just fine _ _  
_ _ Even when I lose my mind _ _  
_ _ I need to say _ _  
_ _ Tell me that it's not my fault _ _  
_ _ Tell me that I'm all you want _ _  
_ _ Even when I break your heart _

  
  
  
  


**-END OF ACT I-**

  
  
  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yes, the monks were singing a song by Taylor Swift.


End file.
